It's been a long time since I've written a blog, and I realize I have promised a lot to my readers recently. I am still working on those blogs, but recently life really sucks; I can't focus and I'm either really angry or really sad (mostly both at the same time). I'm stuck in a rut and really unhappy about it, but unsure of how to proceed.
So again, I am unemployed because the project I was working on is finished. And despite my best efforts to charm my way into the company, I couldn't because they are literally a three man operation with a budget for no body else. WHICH BLOWS SO FUCKING MUCH! I am a good hard-worker, everyone enjoyed working with me (I think), and I loved working with this company. But funds are low, and I'd rather not see them go belly-up because they are pretty cool people. So, while I was emphasizing that I could do stuff like wash the car, organize the office, etc., I wasn't trying to be too pushy about staying employed with them. Which leads me to my current unemployed predicament.
I have been getting so upset my this unstable employment thing I have been thinking about going back to school to get a BS in health nutrition, or a personal trainer/group training certificate. That way I would have something a little more stable to help me get through these rough patches. The problem with that is it costs money to get these degrees and certifications, and since the holidays are coming up I basically have no money to pursue these ideas. I basically have no money for holiday presents either, which is super obnoxious because I love giving people gifts. I mean, sure, material things aren't really needed, but I like getting Forrie things he wouldn't normally buy himself, and I love seeing the look of puzzlement on my niece's face when I get her something that is a little obscure. And so I'm just overly frustrated with this.
I also have made so many promises and commitments that I need to do for people, like, now. And you say to me, "well just sit down and do it." Yeah, easy for you to say. I can't focus on anything, and more importantly my stubborn-ness is telling me to screw it. So I thought to myself, maybe if I go outside of the apartment I can do something. Not so much. IT IS FUCKING LOUD IN THE WORLD TODAY. It's one of those days when you go to the coffee shop to enjoy yourself and just get angry and everyone for being obnoxious.
And for the cherry of my frustrated sundae, my writing is terrible! So I am writing this uncogent blog in hopes of getting it out of my system. This is a dumb blog, I don't blame you for losing interest. I have. Have a good day.
