How To Crochet: A Possibly Instructional Follow Along With Pictures For Beginners

Hello friends!

Inspired by my friend who wants to learn how to crochet, I've decided to do a step-by-step instruction of how to get started.  What you are going to learn how to make is a set of potholders.  Potholders are something easy to practice with so you can get the hang of crocheting.  If you really want to make a blanket, I recommend crocheting at least one pair, as I mentioned, to get the hang of it.  The more you crochet, the looser your stitches may become - it just is a part of the practice.

Also, I am going to slightly cheat.  I really want to be approachable for beginners, but I'm bad at describing how to hold a hook and how to hold the yarn, so I've hyperlinked the some directions for your convenience.

You will need yarn and a crochet hook.  Typically for something like a potholder, you will use a G size hook (or 6-4.25mm).  The type of yarn that I normally use for potholders is Red Heart Yarn, which is your basic, bountiful yarn found in most yarn carrying shops.  For potholders, you don't need a nice or expensive yarn, especially if this is your first project and you just want to try your hand at crocheting.

Picture A

First make a slipknot.  Then stick your crochet hook through the loop and tighten it slightly.  You don't want to make it too tight; you want to be able to move the loop up and down the crochet hook.  (Picture A).

Wrap your yarn around your crochet hook and pull through (Picture B).  This first stitch you have done is what is known as a chain (Picture C).  When you find patterns online or in books, etc., it's usually abbreviated as chain.  Chain 26 (Picture D), this is going to be your "base line" from which you will make everything else.

              Picture B                   Picture C                            Picture D                           

 Now take your crochet hook and count back two chains and stick your crochet hook through.  Wrap the yarn around the hook, and pull it through the line.  You should have two loops over your crochet hook (Picture E).  Wrap the yarn around your crochet hook again, and pull it through both loops to make a single loop on your hook (Picture F).  You have just completed your first single stitch (ss) (Picture G). YAY!!

   

Top Left: Picture E, Top Right: Picture F, Bottom Left: Picture G                                                                                

 Continue with your single stitch in a circle until you can fold your potholder over.  Eventually, you will want to flip your potholder inside out so the pretty lines are on the outside (Picture H).  When you fold your potholder over, the two edges should come together seamlessly, you shouldn't have to stretch it to fit (Picture I).  From here you can either stitch it up, or add an embellished top to place store them on hooks.  I have both listed below.

Picture H                                                                                        Picture I

Top to Bottom: Picture J, Picture K                                                                     Top to Bottom: Picture L, Picture M 

Finishing:

From the top, take your yarn down the length of the potholder, up halfway and then cut.  If you have made the embellished top, pull the yarn through the last loop.  Put your crochet hooks through the top two single stitches, wrap your yarn around and pull through.  Zig-zag down, until you have successfully stitched up your potholder.  When you get to the bottom, fasten it off by making a loop, then pulling the stitch through.  It's like you are making a chain or a single stitch, but pulling the yarn all the way through.  Now take your end piece and pull it on the inside of your potholder.

As you can see from the pictures of the final ones I posted, I use these all the time.  They are very durable and long lasting.  I'm fairly sure some of the ones my mom made are around 25 years old.  You can also use more than one color for fun effects, or for holidays.  My orange and brown ones are my Thanksgiving potholders.  They also make great housewarming gifts or stocking stuffers for parents.  Oh, and in case you didn't figure it out, the pink one I used to show you how to crochet a potholder is much smaller than the actual one you will be making.  So, besides the first few photos the photos are not to scale.  Thanks!

Feel free to ask any questions.

-Stay creative!

   

 

Insanity and Suicide Around the World

So I've decided to post about "The GM Genocide" because it 1) really needs to get out there and 2) I don't know how much people are talking about this (I haven't heard anything on the local news at least).  This kind of further proves (to me anyway) how business tycoons put business first and people second.  It's one of the major reasons why our current health care system fails.  Businesses don't care about people, they care about making money.  (Maybe you've heard about the recent uproar concerning the CEO of the Breast Cancer Foundation - she just took a 60% pay increase, she now makes well over $600,000, while people like me are struggling to get over 12k per year.)

I would really like it if people could comment on this and we could get a discussion going, maybe people write updates or something, but I know I'm kind of dreaming big for my little blog.  To summarize - briefly - what the article says that big businesses are trying to get countries (India) to grow GMO products (genetically modified organisms).  Plants are basically manipulated to grow "bigger and better" and some are supposed to be bug resistant.  What happens more often than not when you genetically modify foods is that they won't grow - just because we think we understand genetics and how things work isn't necessarily accurate and doesn't mean we should be changing things around.

Small time farmers in India are borrowing money from people to purchase these expensive GMO seeds, instead of farming the traditional way.  What is happening is that they are getting a whole bunch of seeds that won't grow.  If the crops don't grow, that means that these farmers aren't getting paid.  Now I know most of us understand what happens when you don't get paid, but imagine having a larger family to support.  Everyone is working in the fields, and trying to earn money, but it doesn't work.  That is a lot of unneeded stress in life, so how do you escape?  Well, apparently THOUSANDS of farmers are killing themselves each month because they see no other escape.  It's becoming so commonplace that people aren't even bothering to even attempt to help or save them.

What are the big, pro-GMO people saying and how are they reacting?  They are saying it's just the stress of living in the country.  It's typical for people to kill themselves and it's normal.  WHEN IS KILLING YOURSELF NORMAL?  People need help, not to be dismissed.  What's worse is after the husbands have killed themselves, a lot of wives take over the farm and try to get it to grow, but are in such a big debt, they too kill themselves.  And guess what that does.  It leaves kids parentless and a "burden" to other family members.  It seems to me like it's a vicious cycle, ya know?

I'm not saying let's rally the troops and get involved (unless that's what you want to do).  I just want you to be informed of what's going on around the world.  Often times we get censored from what's going on worldwide, and how big businesses is kind of running (and ruining) everything.  People in power will typically put themselves and their money first; it's like they forget other people outside of their little bubble exist.  But everyone around you has real-world experiences and lives, ya know?  Thank god for the digital age.  Now we can inform each other of what's going on and hopefully be proactive about it.

Again, I hope that you comment or discuss below, because that would be pretty cool, and I would like to get other people's views and opinions.

Anti-Fluoridation: Portland, 2013

Hi,

My name is Jackie and I am anti-fluoridation, and here's why:

I do believe that fluoridation is a good thing to help the people who can't afford good dental care, HOWEVER, by fluoridating the water we are not solving the problem.  Instead, this is what we would be doing:

Pretend you have two flower boxes.  One has some old soil, and the other has new soil.  The flowers planted with the new soil will be growing strong and healthy; truly beautiful plants.  The ones in the old soil grow up a little scraggly, a little off color, not as tall or as full as the plants in the other box.  So what do you do to fix the ones in the other box?  Do you put a little nutrients in the water to help them grow a little stronger?  You can, but the soil itself won't be fertile, so the plants in the old soil may just appear a little better.  They won't actually be that much healthier.  What you need to do is get to the root of the problem.  Change the soil so the plants can grow and nourish.

I am basically ripping and condensing this analogy from an article I recently read in class (Levels of Racism: A Theoretic Framework and A Gardener's Tale, by Camara Jones).  You can't fix the main problem (poor dental health) by painting a gloss over it, putting a pretty picture up, however you want to imagine this.  You have to go to the root of the problem, which in this case is there are two parts.  One is insurance coverage, affordability and quality.  We, as a country, need to figure out how to provide better quality insurance and easily accessible insurance to those who do not have it.  The ACA will help by mandating that people get insurance next year.  But the type of coverage isn't specified, and most people that have insurance have to pay separately for dental and  vision.  The biggest problem is that the health care facilities and providers treat health and people like business, not like people.  This probably won't change any time soon, but with baby steps we can maybe get there?

The second biggest issue is our food sources in America.  It is often that processed and unhealthy food items are promoted, and the ones that are high in sugars and other bad things are the ones that affect your dental health.

So instead of fluoridating our water, we need to find the root and try and fix that.  But there are other reasons that I will be voting no.  Multnomah County is saying that it is fluoride, when it is in fact, not.  It is a chemical compound including such chemicals as mercury and lead.  It is written right in the bill proposal, but the advertisements don't let you on to that little tidbit of information.

They also don't inform you about the costs that are going to accompany fluoridation if the bill passes.  There will be huge machines built, plus the ongoing costs of providing "fluoride," the costs of labor to keep the machines running, etc.  How is this going to get paid for?  Taxes, water increase, etc.  I don't think we are in a place where this is necessary, and I believe that the money that they are going to use on this fluoridation process could be spent on providing better care and making quality foods more affordable, or something.

Most of the other Westernized countries don't have fluoridated water.  Most of the major cities in the US promote it, but they don't really see a huge decrease in tooth problems.  It is something like a 5% decrease in 5 or 7 years.  That's not really that big of a difference and that also proves to me that it's not getting to the root of the problem.  We need to figure out something else because clearly this isn't the way to do it.  And besides, by addressing the root issues it will probably also promote overall healthier lifestyles and outcomes for people (like type 2 diabetes and CVD), which are other major health concerns for people in the US right now.

I encourage you all to vote "no," because while fluoridation is seemingly a good idea, there are much better ways to treat this dental issue.  The other ways could result in a better long term success rate than adding chemicals to our delicious drinking water.

http://www.cleanwaterportland.org/?gclid=CIS3yOX4oLcCFadxQgodxzEARQ

Mayan Apocalypse: Philosophy of the Mayan Religion

Dear readers,

I would like to consider myself a semi-expert on ancient Mayan culture.  It is what I went to school for and what I like to read about constantly in books, online articles, magazines, etc.

Like many of my friends and colleagues, maybe even some of you constant internet visitors, I am quite sick of reading about the "Mayan Apocalypse" and how we are all going to die in some sort of Christian like end of days time.  The Mayan religion says nothing of the sort; what is currently believed by most people (end of days) is purely a misinterpretation of a calendar.  For example, we don't go crazy on January 31st every year just because our calendar ends, right?  The Mayan calendar just happens to be 144,000 days long (aka Long Count) during this particular cycle (Bak'tun).

Here is an excerpt from the Archaeology November/December 2012 issue.  I think this will help clarify and explain the basics concerning this time in the Maya religion.

“2012 marks the completion of a cycle of 13 Bak’tuns, corresponding to 5,125 years and its meaning is fundamental in Maya mythology.  Rather than marking the end of a period, 2012 represents the BEGINNING of a new era given that calendric cycle changes are an opportunity for positive renewal, according to Maya philosophy…

13 Bak’ tun

On December 21, 2012 we’ll celebrate the end of the Oxlajuj B’a’tun or 13 Bak’tun and the start of a new era that should be seen as an opportunity for positive renewal to generate changes in our society and human nature in general.  This is the Maya philosophy and is based on the knowledge and interpretation of the legacy left by the ancient Maya in their calendars. 

Measuring time has always been central in Maya Cosmology.  The Long Count was one of the calendars bused by the ancient Maya, especially to record important historical events.  This time measuring system consists of counting the days from an initial date or <<year zero>>, measured according to five periods (K>in, Winal, Tun, K>atun and Bak’tun) based on a vigesimal system.  The greatest period, the Bak’tun, consists of 144,000 days.

The initial date of the Long Count was recorded by the Maya in several monuments…The date was not recorded as 0.0.0.0.0, but as 13.0.0.0.0, and corresponds to day 4 Ajaw on the Tzolkin Calendar and 8 Kumk>u on the Solar Calendar or Ja’ab.  According to the inscription at Quirigua, the initial event of the Long Count can be interpreted as a creation, expressed metaphorically as the positioning of three scared stones by a pair of creator gods.

The fact that the starting date is 13.0.0.0.0 indicates that this is, at the same time, the date when a previous cycle ended.  From this data, the Long Count is then considered to be the measurement of cycles of 13 Bak’tuns, ie 1,872,000 days (5,125.26 Gregorian years).  The end of the cycle that began on August 11, 3114 BC, will be December 21, 2012, which in Maya connotation is 13.0.0.0.0 4 Ajaw 13 Kankin…

Much has been said about the end of this cycle, once it reaches the 13 Bak’tun, often with an apocalyptic connotation.  However, for the ancient Maya this didn’t represent the end of the Long Count or the end of the world.  This can be proven by the nature of interpretations of the Tortuguero monument and by two inscriptions Cobá, which recorded Long Count dates far greater than the cycle of 13 Bak’tuns.

The 13 Bak’tun is not to be confused with the catastrophes of other Mesoamerican cultures’ mythologies, such as the <<Era of the Suns>> of the Aztecs or the failed creations narrated in the Popol Vuh.  Either way, the meaning of these myths is not focused on disasters that wiped out humanity, but in the social and spiritual transformations, that occurred.”  - Credits Counterpart International, Archaeology November/December 2012.

So to summarize - no apocalypse.  It is like an ascension to a higher plane of existence, but consciously not on a subconscious level.  I've read somewhere that the Mayans believe that everyone in the world will awaken to this new consciousness, and honestly it is something that I hope for.  People need enlightenment and need to be more open minded, but also realize that it will take hard work in order to get there...anyway before I go off on a tangent, I just thought I should tell people whats up, and hopefully not too many people will go bat-shit-crazy on the 21st.

A Letter to the Biebs...aka Justin Bieber

Dear Justin Bieber: aka The Biebs/The Biebster,

I have a bone to pick with you and your new song, "Beauty and the Beat," even though it's slightly catchy.  It would be obvious to point out and discuss the shallowness of how all you need is a beauty and a beat (really?), so instead I am going to point out the flaw in your "party like it's 1312" idea.  First of all, why?  Do you want an incurable disease?  Particularly the ever popular neural degenerative diseases?  You probably wouldn't get them though, because there were some wars being fought in places and since you wouldn't be able to sing your way out of the situation...well, you can use your imagination...If you were to assess the party from more of a fashion/mainstream/elitist point of view, it's an interesting choice.  Very "Game of Thrones" fashion-esque.  Can't condemn you on that I suppose; I find it pretty cool, but I don't know about the dances.  Did you know Templars disbanded in 1312?  Such a crazy year to party in!  Maybe I agree with your choice after all.  Neat idea.  Keep them coming.

-Jackie

P.S.  "off" is one syllable, not two.  So don't say owwoff...it's weird.  Thanks.

#JustinBieber, #Bieber

Blog Humbug!

It's been a long time since I've written a blog, and I realize I have promised a lot to my readers recently.  I am still working on those blogs, but recently life really sucks; I can't focus and I'm either really angry or really sad (mostly both at the same time).  I'm stuck in a rut and really unhappy about it, but unsure of how to proceed.

So again, I am unemployed because the project I was working on is finished.  And despite my best efforts to charm my way into the company, I couldn't because they are literally a three man operation with a budget for no body else.  WHICH BLOWS SO FUCKING MUCH!  I am a good hard-worker, everyone enjoyed working with me (I think), and I loved working with this company.  But funds are low, and I'd rather not see them go belly-up because they are pretty cool people.  So, while I was emphasizing that I could do stuff like wash the car, organize the office, etc., I wasn't trying to be too pushy about staying employed with them.  Which leads me to my current unemployed predicament.

I have been getting so upset my this unstable employment thing I have been thinking about going back to school to get a BS in health nutrition, or a personal trainer/group training certificate.  That way I would have something a little more stable to help me get through these rough patches.  The problem with that is it costs money to get these degrees and certifications, and since the holidays are coming up I basically have no money to pursue these ideas.  I basically have no money for holiday presents either, which is super obnoxious because I love giving people gifts.  I mean, sure, material things aren't really needed, but I like getting Forrie things he wouldn't normally buy himself, and I love seeing the look of puzzlement on my niece's face when I get her something that is a little obscure.  And so I'm just overly frustrated with this.

I also have made so many promises and commitments that I need to do for people, like, now.  And you say to me, "well just sit down and do it." Yeah, easy for you to say.  I can't focus on anything, and more importantly my stubborn-ness is telling me to screw it.  So I thought to myself, maybe if I go outside of the apartment I can do something.  Not so much.  IT IS FUCKING LOUD IN THE WORLD TODAY.  It's one of those days when you go to the coffee shop to enjoy yourself and just get angry and everyone for being obnoxious.

And for the cherry of my frustrated sundae, my writing is terrible!  So I am writing this uncogent blog in hopes of getting it out of my system.  This is a dumb blog, I don't blame you for losing interest.  I have.  Have a good day.

 

English Language Use: Profanities

Dear pompously, self-righteous people.  Please do me a favor and go fuck yourselves.  Not in the literal sense - that's too pleasurable.  Although you are probably wrinkling your nose in disgust at the very thought.  Those of you who are giggling right now, are not my intended "I hate you so mother-fucking-much-right-now" audience, but you will quite possibly get a kick out of this.  Anyway, I mean go fuck yourselves, by taking a good look in the mirror and seeing what a truly messed up individual you are.  Quite possibly do the rest of us a favor and minimize your interfering, facebook, holier-than-thou attitude to nothing.  If you need to, just type a little god fearing speech every now and then (those posts are really easy to hide), but please, butt out of my life.

So, I am mainly writing this because it has come to my attention in Portland, that people in my hometown of Collbran (fucking Collbran) Colorado have a problem with my use of the goddamn English language.  Apparently, it's at times a little uncouth and vulgar; I prefer the coined (by me of course) phrase eloquent rainbowed diction.  But only when you really piss me off.  For example, if you are a goddamn hypocrite criticizing me for standards that are in your translated book that some old dudes wrote, probably while high on hasheesh or opium or something (drugs are not really in my knowledge base), to which, by the by, you EPICALLY FAIL at attempting yourself, I get a little pissy.  Well, really pissy, but that's a minor detail.

So I will address this first fucking issue of my usage of goddamn.  You may see it in such phrases as goddamnit, or goddamn-motherfucker, or goddamn you to hell you ass-licking cunt fucking son-of-a-bitch.  Ya know, the usual things.  Two things: One  ---->>>NOT RELIGIOUS<<<----; Two, if religion happens to be your cup of tea (which BY THE WAY, I don't care if you are!  If it's what makes life easier for you, and if it is what you need then I'm happy you have something to work towards) you SORELY need to understand what I am about to say.  So get off of your high-offended-horse and listen.  Thou shalt not use the Lord's name in vain, right?  So, DO NOT fight a goddamn war and say it's because of god, DO NOT claim you are a better human being because your god said so, which puts your pompous ass on a pedestal above the rest.  You eat, fuck, and shit just like everyone else.  No one is ever better than anyone else because of a religion, but because of their actions and how they help others not harm... I mean, like, duh, right?

This is, apparently, where I have really pissed people off.  I'm sorry, don't be my friend.  Chances are if this offends you then I wouldn't have friend requested you anyway because your worldview is limited.  You can't conceive what it's like to be in another person's position, or imagine what it's like for other people to have to deal with your anger and hate that you are spewing like Mount-fucking-Vesuvius.

Chances are, the people that are pissed off are conservatives, and while I'm not one to judge another by their beliefs, this anger towards me tends to come from conservative-butter-inners.  (Side note/FYI: conservatives tend to take issue with the "lack of freedom to choose," which means that they believe that many of our civil liberties and every day choices are getting taken away by the government.) These BUTTINSKIES ARE THE ONES WHO ARE ATTEMPTING TO CENSOR MY GODDAMN PROFANITY and they are demanding that I be more pious.  Where is my freedom to choose to do what the hell I want to do?  Why can't I exercise my fucking freedom of speech?  Not to mention all the other people who would like to choose who they marry, amongst the other choices...but I digress from my original mother fucking point.  (Oh and just to be lucid, I identify with no party.)

(Speaking of digressing...is it mother fucker, or motherfucker, or mother-fucker?   My computer and I seem to be having a disagreement as to which is proper.)

What really grinds my gears about this whole situation is that the people who are berating me for my "choice words" are the same people who are breaking like five much more damaging commandments.  So, again, look in the mirror, look at your surroundings, and know your own screwed up situation before you go parading on mine.  Let's say the pious people involved (hypothetically of course) have children out of wedlock, are divorced, have dishonored their mother and/or father, have coveted (let's not lie this means wanna fuck the brains out of)  their neighbors and others' wives/husbands.  Probably during their fallacious high school days broke a number of commandments, laws and what have you.  So, to these people, I'm just like, REALLY?

Fucking hypocrites...

All jokes and antagonizing remarks aside, I have been treated indignantly without provocation and I'm calling bullshit.  Everyone has their days within which the weight of the world seems too oppressive, and they have every right to express their views articulately and in whatever cogent way they want.  Largely, that is what social media has become; a way to express views, frustrations and mundane daily occurrences.  The fact that people want to regulate and repudiate what others profess is downright retarded and better not happen.  Oh and if you are thwarted by my lexicon, maybe you should spend less time preaching on facebook and more time scrutinizing yourself.  Realize that there is more to life than loathing and educate yourself; expand your world view.  I fucking dare you.