Dear pompously, self-righteous people. Please do me a favor and go fuck yourselves. Not in the literal sense - that's too pleasurable. Although you are probably wrinkling your nose in disgust at the very thought. Those of you who are giggling right now, are not my intended "I hate you so mother-fucking-much-right-now" audience, but you will quite possibly get a kick out of this. Anyway, I mean go fuck yourselves, by taking a good look in the mirror and seeing what a truly messed up individual you are. Quite possibly do the rest of us a favor and minimize your interfering, facebook, holier-than-thou attitude to nothing. If you need to, just type a little god fearing speech every now and then (those posts are really easy to hide), but please, butt out of my life.
So, I am mainly writing this because it has come to my attention in Portland, that people in my hometown of Collbran (fucking Collbran) Colorado have a problem with my use of the goddamn English language. Apparently, it's at times a little uncouth and vulgar; I prefer the coined (by me of course) phrase eloquent rainbowed diction. But only when you really piss me off. For example, if you are a goddamn hypocrite criticizing me for standards that are in your translated book that some old dudes wrote, probably while high on hasheesh or opium or something (drugs are not really in my knowledge base), to which, by the by, you EPICALLY FAIL at attempting yourself, I get a little pissy. Well, really pissy, but that's a minor detail.
So I will address this first fucking issue of my usage of goddamn. You may see it in such phrases as goddamnit, or goddamn-motherfucker, or goddamn you to hell you ass-licking cunt fucking son-of-a-bitch. Ya know, the usual things. Two things: One ---->>>NOT RELIGIOUS<<<----; Two, if religion happens to be your cup of tea (which BY THE WAY, I don't care if you are! If it's what makes life easier for you, and if it is what you need then I'm happy you have something to work towards) you SORELY need to understand what I am about to say. So get off of your high-offended-horse and listen. Thou shalt not use the Lord's name in vain, right? So, DO NOT fight a goddamn war and say it's because of god, DO NOT claim you are a better human being because your god said so, which puts your pompous ass on a pedestal above the rest. You eat, fuck, and shit just like everyone else. No one is ever better than anyone else because of a religion, but because of their actions and how they help others not harm... I mean, like, duh, right?
This is, apparently, where I have really pissed people off. I'm sorry, don't be my friend. Chances are if this offends you then I wouldn't have friend requested you anyway because your worldview is limited. You can't conceive what it's like to be in another person's position, or imagine what it's like for other people to have to deal with your anger and hate that you are spewing like Mount-fucking-Vesuvius.
Chances are, the people that are pissed off are conservatives, and while I'm not one to judge another by their beliefs, this anger towards me tends to come from conservative-butter-inners. (Side note/FYI: conservatives tend to take issue with the "lack of freedom to choose," which means that they believe that many of our civil liberties and every day choices are getting taken away by the government.) These BUTTINSKIES ARE THE ONES WHO ARE ATTEMPTING TO CENSOR MY GODDAMN PROFANITY and they are demanding that I be more pious. Where is my freedom to choose to do what the hell I want to do? Why can't I exercise my fucking freedom of speech? Not to mention all the other people who would like to choose who they marry, amongst the other choices...but I digress from my original mother fucking point. (Oh and just to be lucid, I identify with no party.)
(Speaking of digressing...is it mother fucker, or motherfucker, or mother-fucker? My computer and I seem to be having a disagreement as to which is proper.)
What really grinds my gears about this whole situation is that the people who are berating me for my "choice words" are the same people who are breaking like five much more damaging commandments. So, again, look in the mirror, look at your surroundings, and know your own screwed up situation before you go parading on mine. Let's say the pious people involved (hypothetically of course) have children out of wedlock, are divorced, have dishonored their mother and/or father, have coveted (let's not lie this means wanna fuck the brains out of) their neighbors and others' wives/husbands. Probably during their fallacious high school days broke a number of commandments, laws and what have you. So, to these people, I'm just like, REALLY?
Fucking hypocrites...
All jokes and antagonizing remarks aside, I have been treated indignantly without provocation and I'm calling bullshit. Everyone has their days within which the weight of the world seems too oppressive, and they have every right to express their views articulately and in whatever cogent way they want. Largely, that is what social media has become; a way to express views, frustrations and mundane daily occurrences. The fact that people want to regulate and repudiate what others profess is downright retarded and better not happen. Oh and if you are thwarted by my lexicon, maybe you should spend less time preaching on facebook and more time scrutinizing yourself. Realize that there is more to life than loathing and educate yourself; expand your world view. I fucking dare you.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Confessions Of A Rambling Mind
So I know I have been blogging a lot lately, jamming up your news feeds with incoherent ramblings...OHMYGOD I am fighting with a stack of pillows trying to write this (it's like 4AM and I'm writing initially in a journal of sorts), and so I am in bed with a head lamp (because I'm cool like that *note to self buy batteries*), trying not to wake Forrest - ugh.
Anyway, so my mind is in a state of agitation, coming up with all kinds of new blog ideas, and then this was the one I justcouldn't go to sleep had to write this before going to sleep. So as may be inferred from a previous blog, I get awkwardly nostalgic this time of year. But there are two families in particular that I can never seem to stop thinking about. One of the families I constantly think about --it's kind of bizarre and doesn't make sense. In fact, it is SO WERID because I basically had nothing to do with the girl in high school. Like at all. In fact, her and her cronies terrified the shit out of me and I avoided her (mayhaps unbeknownst to her) as much as possible. Why? I don't know. She scared me, but now? I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HER! I should clarify; it's not in a weird or creepy I-want-to-kill-you-and-take-over-your-family way, but in a friendly and fond manner. And if she happens to be reading this I feel like you will know that I am talking about you. I know this sounds weird but I feel like we have some telepathic connection. I often have dreams where I'm having some sort of life crisis or another and she is always the one to give me advice that helps me through. I know that it's just a dream, but it's gotta mean something right?
Now, I don't know if you guys know this about me, or really care to, but I like to analyze things in, out, backwards, forwards, caddywhompus and microscopically. Of course I have no real training in psychoanalysis so everything is conjecture, but I think I figured it out more or less down to a T.
So in February of 2005 there was a group of my classmates sitting in the school library for some class function or other, possibly having to do with college applications. Anyway, I was sitting at a table with her and her friends when she - for me out of the blue - asked how my mom was doing. (It was like a year+ prior that she was diagnosed with stage 4 of 5 [such an overachiever] of 2nd hand smoke induced cancer. And I replied with "Oh, I don't know. She probably has like 2 weeks left or something." (Unfortunately I couldn't have been more accurate.) But I said this with a nonchalant, blasé attitude, and what I thought was great fluidity. She, however, instantly teared up and just gave me this look, a loot that I can't really describe but I will always remember. And because I've been analyzing my thoughts as to why my reminiscing lead back to her it's because there is some sort of cosmic, thread-of-life-like crossing here that will always keep her in my thoughts and well wishes. Although, now that I read this I realize that I may sound like a crazy person and I'm actually debating on whether or not to post this. But ya know what? I'm going to because on the off chance that she reads this and understands that it's her I am talking about, maybe she will confirm my gut feelings. Or maybe she will confirm I'm crazy. Again, it's not like I think about her all the time, just like, you know, you would remember a cherished friend.
Anyway, I guess that is all I have to say today. Thank you everyone for reading my blog and the support you have shown throughout the years!
- Jackie
Anyway, so my mind is in a state of agitation, coming up with all kinds of new blog ideas, and then this was the one I just
Now, I don't know if you guys know this about me, or really care to, but I like to analyze things in, out, backwards, forwards, caddywhompus and microscopically. Of course I have no real training in psychoanalysis so everything is conjecture, but I think I figured it out more or less down to a T.
So in February of 2005 there was a group of my classmates sitting in the school library for some class function or other, possibly having to do with college applications. Anyway, I was sitting at a table with her and her friends when she - for me out of the blue - asked how my mom was doing. (It was like a year+ prior that she was diagnosed with stage 4 of 5 [such an overachiever] of 2nd hand smoke induced cancer. And I replied with "Oh, I don't know. She probably has like 2 weeks left or something." (Unfortunately I couldn't have been more accurate.) But I said this with a nonchalant, blasé attitude, and what I thought was great fluidity. She, however, instantly teared up and just gave me this look, a loot that I can't really describe but I will always remember. And because I've been analyzing my thoughts as to why my reminiscing lead back to her it's because there is some sort of cosmic, thread-of-life-like crossing here that will always keep her in my thoughts and well wishes. Although, now that I read this I realize that I may sound like a crazy person and I'm actually debating on whether or not to post this. But ya know what? I'm going to because on the off chance that she reads this and understands that it's her I am talking about, maybe she will confirm my gut feelings. Or maybe she will confirm I'm crazy. Again, it's not like I think about her all the time, just like, you know, you would remember a cherished friend.
Anyway, I guess that is all I have to say today. Thank you everyone for reading my blog and the support you have shown throughout the years!
- Jackie
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Top 10 Distractions that keep you from achieving dreams...
So I am going to attempt to be funny. I'm talking knee slapping, HIGH-larity people.
These are the *top 10 things that I have found to be very distracting from doing things I should be doing, and yes I am kind of ripping off the picture (at the bottom). Most of us do these things because it is almost an instant gratification for hard work, and whatever is looming above us like that faithful dark cloud usually requires seemingly more work and effort than our fall back chores. And then after we get all the distractions done, it's like a slap in the face because you think to yourself, "if I would have just done the other thing, than that would be done by now." But alas! There you are distraction free, with that stupid GRE cloud above you...At least your house is clean and there's fresh baked bread!
*footnote* Oh and by the way, these are in no particular "top 10 order." I wrote these in the order that they came to mind, so it's probably like a reverse top 10 or something. It came to my attention after writing this that I had no idea how to write a top 10. Lame...
10. CLEANING. Nobody's house or apartment is cleaner than when they have something looming over their head. I speak from experience. In about 2 hours my house will be spotless, and I will feel accomplished. And this will be like the third time this week I will have "deep cleaned" the apartment. However, it is often destroyed by...
9. COOKING/BAKING. So, I LOVE fall, and I love fall foods. There's all types of pumpkins, squashes, and other harvest-time-of-the-year-foods, that you can not only make delicious meals with, but you can BAKE AWESOMENESS with. Like pumpkin spice cupcakes. If anybody has a recipe for this PLEASE let me know! The problem with cooking is that you essentially destroy all the time and effort you put into #10, and if you're not careful you will get into this mad, vicious cycle of cleaning and cooking, possibly ending your life from all the labor. Well, you will at least become exhausted and then you will start...
8. REMINISCING. This time of year makes me reminisce so much! I think about all the music I used to listen to and then start listening to it again. Most recently I have gone through Alicia Keys' first album, and Backstreet Boys first album. I am currently debating on whether to proceed with Lou Bega or Will Smith. I think this time of year is such a good time to reminisce because it's "time for school" or whatever, so you think about when you were in school. Then you think of all the 19 other people you graduated with (I went to a very tiny high school) back in '06 (eep!), and you wonder how they are doing, how their families are, what their life is like, etc. And if you went to college you start looking through old photos and laughing at inside jokes like 'ought,' and 'sparrow hawk.' Then you start...
7. START STALKING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK. Mainly because you haven't seen these people in a while and your curiosity gets the best of you. You want to answer all of those questions in the aforementioned #8, so you might breach the 'stalking' aspect and post on their wall. But heaven forbid if you call them! That would be creepy and weird...
6. COMPUTER GAMES Now, it is my firm belief that computer and video games are two separate things. Computer games are much easier to access than video games. Video games require a TV, some sort of console, a controller and of course, games. With a computer you just need a computer and facebook and you are hooked up to a world of games. If you are versed well enough, you can even download and purchase a game for your computer right there, on your computer. Never leaving site of it. You may invite your friends that you haven't talked to in a while via fb to play with you. Mainly because you need their help stocking your shelves with an apple butter that can only be made if you get one more person to join your dude ranch. Well, I had video games listed separately, but then I thought of something else so, this will have to suffice for all you gamers. An honorable mention goes to video games.
5. HOME IMPROVEMENT PROJECTS. These are the best and the worst kind of distractions out there. Mainly because you can categorize anything under a home improvement project. Oh my, my walls look awfully bland. How to improve? Oh I know! I will just go down to the hobby store and buy some canvass, paints and brushes and paint something magnificent! Also if you are like me, you have the compulsive need this time of year to crochet. I don't know why, maybe it's because my insides can sense the coming winter, but I always officially know when fall has arrived because I get the urge to make a blanket. I'm like a groundhog for fall. Only with yarn and crochet hooks. And not a groundhog. Of course, hobbies like painting create messes, which lead you back to #10, and of course right after you clean the kitchen you get the urge to cook again. Hello #9 and unyielding vicious cycle!
4. BOOKS AND MAGAZINES. I know most of you out there like to read, because well, you've got this far, right? And even if you are just skimming the bold print, YOU SUCK, and should read something more thoroughly. There's going to be a quiz after this, and if you fail you have to memorize all my previous blogs. And send me a FREE 50 DOLLAR BILL NOW. Ha, got your attention. As I was saying, books and magazines are great and should be read more often. Wait, is that what I was saying? I don't know, but it's true.
3. BLOGGING. Yup.
2. SHOPPING/DRIVING PLACES. This may be my number one enemy when fighting a battle of distractions. I think of new hobbies to start, projects I've been meaning to do for months. Or most recently I've been considering going to the home brew store to buy more gallons so we can brew more. Especially at the rate they've recently been consumed! I mean, we are back to waiting for a month before we can drink more, which means I have to buy booze again, laaaame! Oh, and there's no better time to grocery shop than when you are running out of distractions to keep you from doing whatever you need to do. Grocery shopping is probably the worst chore, but can lead to a lot of fun! I mean...it's kind of cyclical because we end up at #9 and #10 again, but so totally worth it, right? Especially when you cook that pumpkin spice cupcake recipe that you are just dying to give to me. Like, now people. The comment box is down below. It's not hard. Just find an online recipe and paste the URL/web address down there.
1. TALKING TO RANDOM STRANGERS JUST TO TELL THEM WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING SO HARD AT DOING. So, I don't know if you guys have actually ever done this before, but I have. I 'have been studying' for the GRE for like months on end now, but in reality, I've been distracted from studying for months on end. I want to go back to school, but the test seems scary, so ta-da! Top 10 distractions accomplished repeatedly! Anyway, I always tell people how hard I am working and how much I've been studying for the GRE. That is when it gets tricky though. Usually people catch on pretty quickly and they ask my something using words like opined and cacophany (which sounds like a hacking cough when spoken out loud), and ask me when I am going to actually take the test. Well people, I've decided to take it in October. Happy?! I've finally set a goal. So much from getting sympathy from the lended ear of a neighbor.
As you well know these things don't necessarily happen in order. In fact, to me they seem to happen simultaneously and it is quite evident if you were to come see my apartment right now. In the kitchen I have dishes that need to be cleaned from my cooking spree I've been on, drawers on the floor that are in the process of getting painted because I decided Easter Bunny purple wasn't really working for me, and the vacuum cleaner is out because I need to vacuum the floor/I haven't put it away from last use. Also, not to mention, my blog is open on my computer. Hopefully that was lucid enough for everyone, and you didn't think I was too garrulous, and you didn't become to inundated. Huh, would you look at that? Seems like my distractions are helping me study after all ;)
These are the *top 10 things that I have found to be very distracting from doing things I should be doing, and yes I am kind of ripping off the picture (at the bottom). Most of us do these things because it is almost an instant gratification for hard work, and whatever is looming above us like that faithful dark cloud usually requires seemingly more work and effort than our fall back chores. And then after we get all the distractions done, it's like a slap in the face because you think to yourself, "if I would have just done the other thing, than that would be done by now." But alas! There you are distraction free, with that stupid GRE cloud above you...At least your house is clean and there's fresh baked bread!
*footnote* Oh and by the way, these are in no particular "top 10 order." I wrote these in the order that they came to mind, so it's probably like a reverse top 10 or something. It came to my attention after writing this that I had no idea how to write a top 10. Lame...
10. CLEANING. Nobody's house or apartment is cleaner than when they have something looming over their head. I speak from experience. In about 2 hours my house will be spotless, and I will feel accomplished. And this will be like the third time this week I will have "deep cleaned" the apartment. However, it is often destroyed by...
9. COOKING/BAKING. So, I LOVE fall, and I love fall foods. There's all types of pumpkins, squashes, and other harvest-time-of-the-year-foods, that you can not only make delicious meals with, but you can BAKE AWESOMENESS with. Like pumpkin spice cupcakes. If anybody has a recipe for this PLEASE let me know! The problem with cooking is that you essentially destroy all the time and effort you put into #10, and if you're not careful you will get into this mad, vicious cycle of cleaning and cooking, possibly ending your life from all the labor. Well, you will at least become exhausted and then you will start...
8. REMINISCING. This time of year makes me reminisce so much! I think about all the music I used to listen to and then start listening to it again. Most recently I have gone through Alicia Keys' first album, and Backstreet Boys first album. I am currently debating on whether to proceed with Lou Bega or Will Smith. I think this time of year is such a good time to reminisce because it's "time for school" or whatever, so you think about when you were in school. Then you think of all the 19 other people you graduated with (I went to a very tiny high school) back in '06 (eep!), and you wonder how they are doing, how their families are, what their life is like, etc. And if you went to college you start looking through old photos and laughing at inside jokes like 'ought,' and 'sparrow hawk.' Then you start...
7. START STALKING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK. Mainly because you haven't seen these people in a while and your curiosity gets the best of you. You want to answer all of those questions in the aforementioned #8, so you might breach the 'stalking' aspect and post on their wall. But heaven forbid if you call them! That would be creepy and weird...
6. COMPUTER GAMES Now, it is my firm belief that computer and video games are two separate things. Computer games are much easier to access than video games. Video games require a TV, some sort of console, a controller and of course, games. With a computer you just need a computer and facebook and you are hooked up to a world of games. If you are versed well enough, you can even download and purchase a game for your computer right there, on your computer. Never leaving site of it. You may invite your friends that you haven't talked to in a while via fb to play with you. Mainly because you need their help stocking your shelves with an apple butter that can only be made if you get one more person to join your dude ranch. Well, I had video games listed separately, but then I thought of something else so, this will have to suffice for all you gamers. An honorable mention goes to video games.
5. HOME IMPROVEMENT PROJECTS. These are the best and the worst kind of distractions out there. Mainly because you can categorize anything under a home improvement project. Oh my, my walls look awfully bland. How to improve? Oh I know! I will just go down to the hobby store and buy some canvass, paints and brushes and paint something magnificent! Also if you are like me, you have the compulsive need this time of year to crochet. I don't know why, maybe it's because my insides can sense the coming winter, but I always officially know when fall has arrived because I get the urge to make a blanket. I'm like a groundhog for fall. Only with yarn and crochet hooks. And not a groundhog. Of course, hobbies like painting create messes, which lead you back to #10, and of course right after you clean the kitchen you get the urge to cook again. Hello #9 and unyielding vicious cycle!
4. BOOKS AND MAGAZINES. I know most of you out there like to read, because well, you've got this far, right? And even if you are just skimming the bold print, YOU SUCK, and should read something more thoroughly. There's going to be a quiz after this, and if you fail you have to memorize all my previous blogs. And send me a FREE 50 DOLLAR BILL NOW. Ha, got your attention. As I was saying, books and magazines are great and should be read more often. Wait, is that what I was saying? I don't know, but it's true.
3. BLOGGING. Yup.
2. SHOPPING/DRIVING PLACES. This may be my number one enemy when fighting a battle of distractions. I think of new hobbies to start, projects I've been meaning to do for months. Or most recently I've been considering going to the home brew store to buy more gallons so we can brew more. Especially at the rate they've recently been consumed! I mean, we are back to waiting for a month before we can drink more, which means I have to buy booze again, laaaame! Oh, and there's no better time to grocery shop than when you are running out of distractions to keep you from doing whatever you need to do. Grocery shopping is probably the worst chore, but can lead to a lot of fun! I mean...it's kind of cyclical because we end up at #9 and #10 again, but so totally worth it, right? Especially when you cook that pumpkin spice cupcake recipe that you are just dying to give to me. Like, now people. The comment box is down below. It's not hard. Just find an online recipe and paste the URL/web address down there.
1. TALKING TO RANDOM STRANGERS JUST TO TELL THEM WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING SO HARD AT DOING. So, I don't know if you guys have actually ever done this before, but I have. I 'have been studying' for the GRE for like months on end now, but in reality, I've been distracted from studying for months on end. I want to go back to school, but the test seems scary, so ta-da! Top 10 distractions accomplished repeatedly! Anyway, I always tell people how hard I am working and how much I've been studying for the GRE. That is when it gets tricky though. Usually people catch on pretty quickly and they ask my something using words like opined and cacophany (which sounds like a hacking cough when spoken out loud), and ask me when I am going to actually take the test. Well people, I've decided to take it in October. Happy?! I've finally set a goal. So much from getting sympathy from the lended ear of a neighbor.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Square Holes and Temp Agencies, Oh and Indiana Jones
So as most of you know, or you will find out now, I am an archaeologist. It is what I went to school for, and when I can find work, it is what my preferred job is. Now, let me educate you guys on what being an archaeologist entails. Every day I go to work I find pyramids, get chased down by natives, find piles of gold, use my bull whip to lasso myself across a huge snake pits, save the damsel in distress, and dig up dinosaur bones. Pretty cool, right? Well, not so much.
You see REAL archaeology involves a lot of knowledge and methodology that you learn how to do from school (not TV programs); you can't do it willy nilly despite how smart you think you are, or what you've taught yourself. And NO you can't just go to a temp agency so you can dig holes in the ground too. Oh and also, yes I am a petite, blonde woman, but I do know what I'm doing - I don't have to be a crotchety old guy to be able to identify a tertiary chalcedony flake that is .2mm in size, or know that I am not looking for gold and dinosaur bones (seriously people, archaeology, geology and paleontology while overlapping, requires different set of knowledge and skills!).
So hey, while being an archaeologist sounds all cool and adventurous it does get tedious (wwhhhhaaaaaa?). That's right, I'm admitting it, but I know everyone thinks about it at some point. I mean, I know all archaeologists know they have the most badass job ever, but clay and sterile soil really suck. For all you laymen out there this is kind of what I mean. The first thing you have to do before you ever excavate a site is test it to find the site boundaries, or to see how culturally relevant a place was. So what do you do for that? You live and breathe the book "Holes." You test around digging holes that have a specific width and a specific depth, and are also a specific distance from each other, trying to find signs of life. Now with this in mind you have to remember that you are looking for historic and prehistoric stuff. What does this mean? Historic is from when people from Europe arrived here (so after Columbus) to about 50 years ago...do you know how trashy people are? It's hard to identify a lot of the stuff especially considering we use such similar things today. Then there is prehistoric stuff. With this you have to be able to identify all the different types of rock material, whether something has been used as a hammer, whether there was a post hole, and the list goes on and on.
Now, there are often times, when you get on a project and you are finding nothing because the soil has been turned around so much, there just isn't any evidence of things. This is when things get boring because you are digging and screening and finding nothing *yawn.* But it is a necessary task in order to learn about the cultural relevance of an area. Now keep in mind while you are performing all of this INCREDIBLY HARD LABOR (at least compared with your normal jobs) you are also recording every little thing that you notice down because it is part of the scientific method. That's right folks, archaeology is one giant experiment that you have to be able to replicate if necessary. It's really a daunting thing because if you fuck up on a job like this, that history/prehistory is lost FOREVER. How many people can say that there job literally affects our understanding of the past?
I can hear some of you now asking, "Hard labor? Don't you just dig around with paintbrushes or something?" Again, wrong field, and wrong time. Yes that is a necessary thing if you are working on some sort of excavation. Usually involves bones, pottery, jewelry, ya know the really neat 'as seen on TV' stuff. So what I mean by hard labor is you have to carry all of your equipment out to the test site. This includes several shovels, screens (which can way up to 40 lbs when clogged with sticky, wet clay), your personal gear (mine usually ways around 20lbs, depending on the task), a digging/breaker bar which ways around 17lbs. Of course the carrying of the equipment is divided by the people on the crew, but you usually need about one of those items per person (exception is digging bar, but you need one for every two people). Now, you have to not only use these tools for 8-10 hours a day, but you have to lug them with you from test hole to test hole, which can be anywhere from 4 to 12+ a day. Hard labor. No joke.
Now I am not saying this is all of archaeology, but it is a big part of archaeology in the US. It's called CRM and it usually has to happen whenever something is being built or expanded. Now my one last tidbit of advice to all of you non archaeologists out there. If you find something like an arrowhead while you are hiking that is awesome, but you shouldn't take it. What you can do is pick it up, look at it, photograph it (if you want), but you really shouldn't take it SIMPLY for the fact that it can really fuck up future projects. What you need to do is call someone with BLM or SHPO (State Historic Preservation Office) and tell them what you found, so it can be noted for the future. If you have a IPhone or something, you can whip that out and get the GPS coordinates to make it more accurate. Bury it a little so no one else finds it. Don't be a jerk by taking it and ruining history.
You see REAL archaeology involves a lot of knowledge and methodology that you learn how to do from school (not TV programs); you can't do it willy nilly despite how smart you think you are, or what you've taught yourself. And NO you can't just go to a temp agency so you can dig holes in the ground too. Oh and also, yes I am a petite, blonde woman, but I do know what I'm doing - I don't have to be a crotchety old guy to be able to identify a tertiary chalcedony flake that is .2mm in size, or know that I am not looking for gold and dinosaur bones (seriously people, archaeology, geology and paleontology while overlapping, requires different set of knowledge and skills!).
So hey, while being an archaeologist sounds all cool and adventurous it does get tedious (wwhhhhaaaaaa?). That's right, I'm admitting it, but I know everyone thinks about it at some point. I mean, I know all archaeologists know they have the most badass job ever, but clay and sterile soil really suck. For all you laymen out there this is kind of what I mean. The first thing you have to do before you ever excavate a site is test it to find the site boundaries, or to see how culturally relevant a place was. So what do you do for that? You live and breathe the book "Holes." You test around digging holes that have a specific width and a specific depth, and are also a specific distance from each other, trying to find signs of life. Now with this in mind you have to remember that you are looking for historic and prehistoric stuff. What does this mean? Historic is from when people from Europe arrived here (so after Columbus) to about 50 years ago...do you know how trashy people are? It's hard to identify a lot of the stuff especially considering we use such similar things today. Then there is prehistoric stuff. With this you have to be able to identify all the different types of rock material, whether something has been used as a hammer, whether there was a post hole, and the list goes on and on.
Now, there are often times, when you get on a project and you are finding nothing because the soil has been turned around so much, there just isn't any evidence of things. This is when things get boring because you are digging and screening and finding nothing *yawn.* But it is a necessary task in order to learn about the cultural relevance of an area. Now keep in mind while you are performing all of this INCREDIBLY HARD LABOR (at least compared with your normal jobs) you are also recording every little thing that you notice down because it is part of the scientific method. That's right folks, archaeology is one giant experiment that you have to be able to replicate if necessary. It's really a daunting thing because if you fuck up on a job like this, that history/prehistory is lost FOREVER. How many people can say that there job literally affects our understanding of the past?
I can hear some of you now asking, "Hard labor? Don't you just dig around with paintbrushes or something?" Again, wrong field, and wrong time. Yes that is a necessary thing if you are working on some sort of excavation. Usually involves bones, pottery, jewelry, ya know the really neat 'as seen on TV' stuff. So what I mean by hard labor is you have to carry all of your equipment out to the test site. This includes several shovels, screens (which can way up to 40 lbs when clogged with sticky, wet clay), your personal gear (mine usually ways around 20lbs, depending on the task), a digging/breaker bar which ways around 17lbs. Of course the carrying of the equipment is divided by the people on the crew, but you usually need about one of those items per person (exception is digging bar, but you need one for every two people). Now, you have to not only use these tools for 8-10 hours a day, but you have to lug them with you from test hole to test hole, which can be anywhere from 4 to 12+ a day. Hard labor. No joke.
Now I am not saying this is all of archaeology, but it is a big part of archaeology in the US. It's called CRM and it usually has to happen whenever something is being built or expanded. Now my one last tidbit of advice to all of you non archaeologists out there. If you find something like an arrowhead while you are hiking that is awesome, but you shouldn't take it. What you can do is pick it up, look at it, photograph it (if you want), but you really shouldn't take it SIMPLY for the fact that it can really fuck up future projects. What you need to do is call someone with BLM or SHPO (State Historic Preservation Office) and tell them what you found, so it can be noted for the future. If you have a IPhone or something, you can whip that out and get the GPS coordinates to make it more accurate. Bury it a little so no one else finds it. Don't be a jerk by taking it and ruining history.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Living The Book "Holes" ; My Life As A Bumbled Bee
So, holy cow! What the hell has happened to these last two months? Here is a little bit about what I've done since July: I've gotten several new jobs (suprise!) but luckily two of them are archaeology related (sadly they probably won't last past next week and I'll have to search for new ones); I've been working basically nonstop and am incredibly frustrated with my human limitations. I have nerve issues with my arms and hands (think it's related to my bone disorder) and it gets worse with archaeology because of how rapid my muscles get built. So I am soon going to have to get that fixed, not to mention I still have to fix my teeth because I have periodontitis which I probably got from my last major oral surgery because that is the only way in the world I can imagine something like that happening...so my money that I am earning from my jobs is quickly escaping my pockets. It's like I can never save anything and it's frustrating. I don't spend money willy nilly. I never buy anything (clothes wise) over 10 dollars, and besides groceries, I don't really buy anything. Every once in a while I go crazy and do something like go skydiving. Which was awesome. Everyone and their mom should go skydiving. It's not scary at all, and apparently a major factor into people dying while skydiving is idiocy on the new skydivers part.
Well, that should be enough bitching. I miss Forrie like crazy. He is the biggest and best support I've ever had, and if any of you know my family, you know they support my life choices well. That is the one thing I absolutely hate about doing 10 day sessions or archaeology out of state. I miss Forrie so much! And our schedules are so opposite and f*ed up, I hardly get to see him when I'm home, and he has been so busy lately, he doesn't really want to do much, and even when we are just relaxing he is all kinds of antsy and occupied with his writing for Muze Magazine - the slightest ding from his inbox and he is off of the couch and by the desk. It sucks, but I guess that's life. It's not like either one of us like him being on edge like that, but, you have to do what you have to do to get where you want to be, and that calls for sacrifices in life.
Lately, I have been so fed up with "making sacrifices" for whatever reason, that I have been doing what I want to do when I want to do it. Of course I'm not retarded and if I can't afford to do something I'm not going to (hinting at my only frustrations with Americans and their spending habits - if you don't have the money people don't fucking spend it, pay off your goddamn bills!). UNFORTUNATELY that kind of lifestyle leaves ones bank, skinny, if you will, but I'm debt free so I shouldn't complain, just grumble.
My other dumbness lately has to do with exhaustion. For example, I am sure this blog post sucks - when I am on top of my game I know I can write well and make all sorts of snazzy and entertaining. Now I just feel all floaty in my head, well maybe not floaty. Floaty is more like allergies or sickness...TV STATIC! Yes I feel TV static in my head. It makes it hard to function after work, like studying, or reading something complex, or writing, or taking a shower. That's right, I said taking a shower. So yesterday I was mad at the hotel for like 2 hours because I didn't have any hot water in my shower. I figured it was due to the high occupancy of the hotel (this has happened to me before). People get off of work and use the hot water supply. But after two hours I was all like "come on, people what the hell?" And then I was like fine I will just wash my face. So I did. In the sink. With hot water. *Super blush* Turns out I was turning the faucet the wrong way every time I tried to "let the water warm up." Yup. Took me two hours to figure that out and I'm trying to go to grad school. LOL!!
Hope you had a little laugh!
-Jackie
Well, that should be enough bitching. I miss Forrie like crazy. He is the biggest and best support I've ever had, and if any of you know my family, you know they support my life choices well. That is the one thing I absolutely hate about doing 10 day sessions or archaeology out of state. I miss Forrie so much! And our schedules are so opposite and f*ed up, I hardly get to see him when I'm home, and he has been so busy lately, he doesn't really want to do much, and even when we are just relaxing he is all kinds of antsy and occupied with his writing for Muze Magazine - the slightest ding from his inbox and he is off of the couch and by the desk. It sucks, but I guess that's life. It's not like either one of us like him being on edge like that, but, you have to do what you have to do to get where you want to be, and that calls for sacrifices in life.
Lately, I have been so fed up with "making sacrifices" for whatever reason, that I have been doing what I want to do when I want to do it. Of course I'm not retarded and if I can't afford to do something I'm not going to (hinting at my only frustrations with Americans and their spending habits - if you don't have the money people don't fucking spend it, pay off your goddamn bills!). UNFORTUNATELY that kind of lifestyle leaves ones bank, skinny, if you will, but I'm debt free so I shouldn't complain, just grumble.
My other dumbness lately has to do with exhaustion. For example, I am sure this blog post sucks - when I am on top of my game I know I can write well and make all sorts of snazzy and entertaining. Now I just feel all floaty in my head, well maybe not floaty. Floaty is more like allergies or sickness...TV STATIC! Yes I feel TV static in my head. It makes it hard to function after work, like studying, or reading something complex, or writing, or taking a shower. That's right, I said taking a shower. So yesterday I was mad at the hotel for like 2 hours because I didn't have any hot water in my shower. I figured it was due to the high occupancy of the hotel (this has happened to me before). People get off of work and use the hot water supply. But after two hours I was all like "come on, people what the hell?" And then I was like fine I will just wash my face. So I did. In the sink. With hot water. *Super blush* Turns out I was turning the faucet the wrong way every time I tried to "let the water warm up." Yup. Took me two hours to figure that out and I'm trying to go to grad school. LOL!!
Hope you had a little laugh!
-Jackie
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Check out my new blogs!
Dear ladies and gents. Just for everyone's information, and in case you neglect to read my other postings, but like reading this one, I am starting two new blogs. One is called Reviewer's Choice! which will tell you about things I like or don't and give you my opinion on those specifically.
The other is called "Workout Tips: The Skinnie" (will hyperlink that later), and it is going to be my nutritional advice that I learn for the day. I am going to be trying to lose weight like mad in the next two months (because I am sick of the weight I've gained this past year) and I thought I would give out my opinions and things that I am finding that work and do not work.
Of course I will continue to ramble on this blog at all times I remember to, and hope you guys check out my new stuff!
-Jackie
The other is called "Workout Tips: The Skinnie" (will hyperlink that later), and it is going to be my nutritional advice that I learn for the day. I am going to be trying to lose weight like mad in the next two months (because I am sick of the weight I've gained this past year) and I thought I would give out my opinions and things that I am finding that work and do not work.
Of course I will continue to ramble on this blog at all times I remember to, and hope you guys check out my new stuff!
-Jackie
Saturday, July 21, 2012
E.Coli Breakout in Portland's Water - GROSS!
So, apparently today during the normal water test, E.Coli tested positive in Portland's Washington Park reservoir. Gross.
http://www.katu.com/news/local/City-of-Portland-issues-a-boil-water-notice-for-parts-of-town-163294436.html
If you don't know much about E.Coli, here is a wiki link.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escherichia_coli
http://www.katu.com/news/local/City-of-Portland-issues-a-boil-water-notice-for-parts-of-town-163294436.html
If you don't know much about E.Coli, here is a wiki link.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escherichia_coli
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