Your Hidden Secret (a work in progress)

So, for all you avid readers of this blog, I am going to be working on this probably for a while, but if you have any input that would be cool.  This is a first, rough draft.  I have an image I want to convey with this, but honestly, I just don't have the focus for it right now - I need to go work out.  So with that in mind...ta da?

I'm your precious, hidden secret kept safe
and hidden away.  Locked in the darkest dungeon
in the blackest corner.  I'm here waiting for you
to shed light on my world, and show me to yours.

Cover Stories, Coffee and Stinky Cheese

Usually, I am not one to male bash.  I understand that support for the modern male and roles they play in this day and age is not supported by the populous, or studied because, let's face it the WASP is a minority and nobody really cares.  Those that do care and take the time to speak out are a select few who have a keen insight to humanity.  Let's face it: men, you aren't helping yourself in the least bit since a good chunk of you fall under the "stereotypes" of being a men.  Those of you who are a fighting modern male I support you, but with great reservations.

I don't know anybody who doesn't have an ego, but it has come to my attention recently that it is men's ego that is inflated.  Well, maybe that is a bad way of saying it.  Maybe they are just more loudmouthed about it.  Anyway the reason I bring this is up is because of my work cronies.  I am the ONLY female amongst very diverse, but stereotypical males.  You have the laid back stoner, the "I am holier than thou" religious guy, and the manly man's man.  

I am going to try to keep this short so I will get straight to the point.  Today, we were waiting at our meeting spot before we went to work and they had a magazine in front of them.  They had it flipped over so only the back was facing up so "I wouldn't be offended."  It was one of those stupid tabloid magazines to make you either hate Hollywood or yourself for not looking like a bag of bones with skin on it.   It had Kim Kardashian on the front in a bikini, with her midsection was obviously photo chopped (nice job magazine!).  Even the guys agreed with me on this, but really?  You think a half naked lady will offend me, for one?  Another there were more pictures of not only her, but also other 'fit celebs' in bikinis throughout the magazine, but they were so enamored by the cover they didn't bother to look through - which for some retarded reason (I am acknowledging that this is stupid) really bothers me.  (Inside the magazine where there was a diff. pic. of Kim she looked much less photo chopped).  To join in on the conversation I started talking about boobs with the guys, because well, let's face it they are straight males and love 'em.  But then they started getting all squirm-ish and uncomfortable.  Seriously?  I don't understand it - does it take away the enigma and suspense?  

I've never been able to join in on their "guy conversations" because then they feel awkward, and the bad. And then the manly man's man inevitably ends up saying - "I feel so bad for you women."  Well, not as bad as I feel for you, you uneducated ass.  But really, he's not a bad guy, just kind of ignorant and as I just said, uneducated.

I have a super sensitive nose, and smelled the man that I am sitting near before I saw him (I am facing the wall).  He smells like stinky cheese, and it's pretty pungent even over the smell of the coffee shop. 

*Testing Testing*

So today I decided to revamp my blog, even though I have had it for only a little while.  It seems that it is not as popular as I would like it to be, which is my own fault as I don't write on a regular basis.  Sometimes it is hard though, to make yourself vulnerable to anyone who has any kind of access to a computer.  Thinking of all the friends and family who will read your innermost thoughts and ideas, dreams, hopes and despairs - it can be discouraging, especially if you are one of those people who, ya know, has vulnerability and doesn't have the "drama kid" type attitude.  Plus, I feel like this has turned into my 'Bitchfest 2012,' LMFAO, which I did not mean it to at all!  There are just a lot of frustrations, and it turns out that this might actually help me think things through.  Or something.  I don't know.  Well, it's time for lunch, blech, and almost work, so I should sign off.  Check ya later world!

Aha!

I like blogging, but I no longer have an internet signal.  Just to let everyone know I have not fallen off of the face of the earth, just the face of internet.  I really would like to focus my blog on something more specific, like each week have a "Feature" item, or something.  Does anyone who reads this have any suggestions?  I love you all and thanks for reading.  Also, I was thinking of posting short stories.  Yay for writing!  It's a beautiful art that few can really master (I do not think I will ever master it, or come remotely close!)

To Life! (La cheim)

So I don't know how to spell "La cheim."  I'm just guessing.  I apologize to those of you who know Hebrew if I butchered it.

To life:  It is complicated and fast paced.  It never slows down to let you breathe and figure out what the fuck you are going to do.

To life: It brings wonderful and horrible things across your path, often within moments of eachother.

To life: It is full of adventure, joys, sorrows, excitement and heart palpitations (could also be the caffeine).

To life: For society producing the ability to create excuse after excuse and a lump of lazy-ass people, myself included.

To life: Thanks for coffee shops, like Sterling Coffee Roasters in Portland.  BEST.  COFFE. EVER!

To life: for randomosity.

My Bucket List...Check

Hello reader (hopefully readers),

It's been a while.  I've been busy.  I started a new job.  Not archaeology, which bums me out, but would you like some solar panels for your house?  It's great and now much more affordable than it used to be!  Not to mention there is a 20 year warranty that covers anything if it breaks...just saying.  Work has infiltrated my life.

I have also decided (whether or not it's a good idea, time will tell) to try and make an appearance on television.  I'm not asking for much, I just want like, a background character or a commercial for something or other.  Ya know, it's my bucket list year (which that snuck up on my quickly) so I am trying to do this.  I had a photo shoot today, which has impressed absolutely none of my friends, but I am like ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I'm kind of one of those introverted people, who hates doing things that requires, ya know, spotlight type stuff, so I am 1) working on it, and 2) actually pushing myself.  I just like to have people be proud of me, or say "oh I wish I had the balls to do stuff out of my comfort zone."  But no, instead I get the reaction of ignor-ation.  It's not fun, and not what I wanted.  But all well, I'M proud of me, which is the biggest thing.  Plus, I think? I got complemented by the photographer, he said I was very 50's-esque, which I like the look of that era.

Other updates in my life include I have actually been working out rather regularly, and I am running!  Who knew I could do such a thing?  I used to be pretty heavy for my height, and over the last two years my man and I have been working out to keep it off, but now I am actually running!  I used to get made fun of alllllll the time in elementary and middle school for running so slow and being kinda chunky.  People never took into account that because I was so small and had such short legs, it might actually take me a lot longer and a lot more steps to go the same distance.  But now, thanks to my man and his encouragement and support, I know I can do more than a lot of people, and I do it with confidence.  Who has confidence?  Not a lot of people, they tend to fake their way through that...I even got told today that I came across as an ageless, confident woman.  Ego boost?  Yes, please.  

One thing I really need to do though, is get on taking the GRE.  I don't really like taking tests, I think they're stupid.  However, I understand the importance of the GRE.  You see, when you want to go to grad school, essentially you need a professor to back you up on the research that you will be doing.  Their name is attached with all of your work, so if you are incompetent and unable to come across professionally, you will not be doing them any favors.  They want someone who will boost their name academically.  It's kind of a cheap copout because they have a way to take credit for your work, and I am sure with some professors it's a lot more of that, but I think for the most part it shouldn't be too bad.  But like I said, I don't really like tests.  However, I know it's what I need to do to further my awesomeness in my career.  Plus, I have a really badass thing I want to do, and I want to start it soon.  The problem is that goddamn test.  Well, I could probably blab on for a while, but I will call it good for now.

An Ode To My Nose

I cannot breathe through my very large nose

Even when I grab a tissue and I blow and I blow

I keep getting sick and it's not too much fun

I'd like to shoot this damn cold with a 45 gun